If I Were Spider-Man for a Day

There are questions we all begin to ask ourselves when we reach a certain age. What is love? Baby don't hurt me? Who is Hannah Montana? Is the Earth flat? What does the future have in store for me? What would I do if I woke up as Peter Parker? Well, I have to get this off my chest, this last question has been plaguing my thoughts for hours.

I figure I'll break my Spidey schedule into morning, afternoon, and night. The morning is my personal favorite time of day, and I don't think being Spider-Man would really change that. After coffee and a nice shower, an outfit would need to be acquiesced, something simple, but still a little bit radical. From then I'd swing my way over to the beautiful big city of Chicago, for some intense web swinging action.

The afternoon is all about the swinging. I figure I'll make it to Chicago around noon, and hit the streets for some practice. Let's not forget how hard it was for Toby at first ("Go Web Go!"). I can only imagine what it must be like to swing from building to building, the nerves must be killer. A bit of sight seeing would be on the agenda for sure. Ruining Wrigley field with a thousand feet of super strength spider webs may be the highlight of my day. Perhaps a little crime fighting in the rough part of town, before a nice long climb up Willis tower for a picnic lunch atop the world.

Finally, the night. This is the killer, so many options, so little time. I'd probably stop by the pier and use my super spider strength to snag a yacht or two for later, and maybe I'd slide my way into a few upscale establishments to swindle some goodies that don't quite fit into my non spider-man budget. Honestly I'm not one for big conclusions, so I'm at a bit of a loss for how to end my evening (any suggestions?) Perhaps I'd just go periodically to every supermarket and take all the LaCroix out of the city of Chicago, or maybe I'd crash a professional wrestling match, and win a cage match, who knows.

Anywho, glad I could share that with you guys, feels nice to finally put this dream of mine into words. Hopefully you enjoyed, feel free to share what your Spider-Man plans would be, I'd love to hear.

Comments

  1. Emi L.November 9, 2018 at 12:11 PM

    So what you're saying is, you dream of being a swinger.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CocoaNovember 11, 2018 at 12:55 PM

    I love how you say you would fight crime (which is obviously what Spider-man does) but you would also just steal things. Truly chaotic neutral.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nathalie SteinNovember 11, 2018 at 1:39 PM

    Were I Spider-man, I'd probably get rid of the hyphen in my name. Spiderman feels a lot more seamless. Honestly, though, I'd rather be Spoderman, meme legend (if a dead meme). I have to say, though, that your plans for theft etc don't really bother me- but stealing all the LaCroix? Implying you'd really want to *drink* a whole Supermarket's worth of LaCroix? Like, if you could have *that* much of any one drink, you wouldn't pick hot chocolate or lemonade or something with, like, flavor? We all have to draw the line somewhere, and that's just too far for me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jessica ValeteNovember 13, 2018 at 8:21 AM

    First of all, RIP Stan Lee. If I were spider-man I would for sure immediately be corrupt, can't even lie. No doubt I would steal some inconsequential stuff and use my fame for my own benefit. I guess that's why I'm not a superhero though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. samNovember 19, 2018 at 6:39 AM

    i pretend to be spiderman every night when i hang upside down in my garage and eat all the bugs i can find and sometimes bats and stray birds if im lucky

    ReplyDelete
  6. Matthew TangNovember 26, 2018 at 9:01 PM

    Wow it's crazy that I've never thought about this before. You're definitely right about the nerves thing though. Getting used to swing and launching yourself around high buildings and crazy speeds might take some practice and getting used to. It seems fun though, like your own personal roller coaster/city sized jungle gym but you die if you slip up.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kevin LiNovember 28, 2018 at 11:10 AM

    Interesting blog topic, but a worthwhile one. I don't know much about spider man, as I have only seen him in the Avengers movies. From what I can tell, he can shoot webs, jump really far, and he has super strength. Instead of swinging like you, I would probably just play around with my web shooting abilities. I would build statues, cover annoying people with webs, and make a giant hammock for myself.

    ReplyDelete

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